Hey Guys. As my first year at college comes to a close I have been reflecting back on what I have learned over the year. The first year in college and away from home is a real transition point in life and it has taught me a great deal about myself and the world in general. So here are the 5 most important things I learn my first year of college.
1. Making friends is easy. Finding true friends is difficult:
Anyone who has been to college can tell you that the first week of school, the "welcome week", is filled to the brim with food, activities, and people. During welcome week I probably met more people then were in my high school. Between my floor, classes, and all the events aimed at getting freshmen to mingle, I met tons of people and made a good deal of friends. But after all the hype settled down, I began to realize that the new friends I had made were great but there just wasn't really any connection between us. We had all been so desperate to make friends quickly, we hadn't been looking for people we had real connections with. As time went on, these friendships weren't progressing and I had begun to really miss my old friend that were now scattered around the country. But luckily a few week into the term I decided to go out for sorority formal recruitment and ended up joining Pi Beta Phi. This was probably one of the best decisions I have made so far in my college career. It was during this time that I was lucky enough to find two of my best friends, Shannon and Jess, and later the third member of our group Morgan. I love these girls so much and we have such a great connection. I couldn't imagine college without them. We are even all rooming together next year. Before I left for school, everyone told me that the friends I made the first week of school would be with me for the rest of my life. No pressure right. Well I have learned that it isn't necessarily the first friends that make the best of friends and that true connections don't always happen instantly. For those of you headed off to school in the fall don't stress if you don't find you BFF the first or even second week of school. It may take some time, but you will find someone that you have a real connection with.
2. Be okay with being alone.
College life is filled with changes, both personal and academic, but one of the most striking changes for me was with eating. I know this sounds weird but hear me out. In high school and every level before that everyone your age shared one meal, lunch. Think back to those middle school years when the most terrifying thing was sitting alone at lunch. Fast forward 5 years and now your most likely sharing every meal with your peers. Those first few weeks everyone thought they had to find someone to eat with every meal. And that is very stressful, especially when all your friend have different schedules then you. But as the semester continued I began to care less about finding someone to eat with. I actually enjoyed those 1 or 2 meals by myself. In college you go from having a good deal of privacy to practically none. There is always someone around and you don't have anywhere to escape to. So cherish those moment of solitude, trust me your sanity will thank you. Also while your at it, stop thinking people are judging you for being alone. Because trust me they aren't. More likely they're thinking about whether they left their curling iron on or whether to do the reading for Econ or not. The last thing to cross their mind is you.
3. Fail. Mess up. Learn from it, then move on.
Academically college can be very different or very similar to your high school career depending on where you come form. But one thing that happens to every student eventually is you fail. Whether its bombing the final in Chemistry, or screwing up an English paper that counts for 30% of your final grade, everyone messes up. I remember the first bad grade I got in college. I was devastated. I had never gotten such a bad grade every, and I couldn't understand where I went wrong. Eventually I realized that sometimes you fail. It's sad but you can't be the best at everything, really you can't even be good at everything. You may have bombed Chemistry but you also got an A is Psych. Don't look at this like your a complete failure at school, look at it like maybe you shouldn't major in Chemistry but Psychology might be a good path for you. Thats kinda what gen ed courses are for, to find out what you're good at and what you're not. Now I may be saying that failing is okay but that doesn't mean you should be making it a habit. Failing is fine as long as you learn something from it. Maybe you do bad on your first test in history, but then you realize that most of the questions were from the supplementary reading. Well next time you can study the supplementary readings more and hopefully you do better. There you learned something from that failure. Just remember, one failed exam or even a class isn't going to ruin your life. Just don't make it a habit.
4. Talk!!
I know this one sounds weird. What do you mean talk, everyone talks. Let me explain. When I was in high school I had a teacher that told us that the best conversations we would ever have would take place in college. Most likely about politics or world issues or the economy. And most likely at 3 am. Now trust me when I say we all thought she was crazy. We were like ok Ms. Moy that is not going to happen. But what do you know, she was right. After coming from high school, I was rarely ever able to have good thoughtful conversations with people my age, and if I did it happened in a classroom environment after being prompted by a teacher. But when I got to college it was different. Sure we still had great discussions in the classroom, I was even surprised at how well thought out people's answer were, but the best discussions happened outside of the classroom. I didn't even occur to me the scope of the discussions until I was writing this, but what Ms. Moy said was true. When something happened in the world, and a lot of really controversial stuff has happened in the past year, I would nonchalantly have discussions about it with my friend as we walked to get food. Sometimes the discussions in class would continue between you and a classmate as you both walked to your next lesson. To top it off, the conversations were actually thoughtful, not aggressive, and open minded. All things I didn't think were possible in general discussion. In college you are blessed with being surrounded by a lot of people that are open minded and relatively un jaded by life, that can think in an academic way. Looking back on this year, I have probably learned more from discussion with other students then I have in lecture. Take advantage of your time at school and express your opinions, learn from other, explore different points of view. You'll be surprise with how much you learn.
5. Have Fun.
Years from now, when you become a "real adult" with a job and a mortgage and maybe a kid, you're going to look back on your college experience. You're not going to remember that A on your American Politics midterm, but you will remember that weekend road trip you made with your friends. You know the one when you got lost twice, ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere, and could never agree on a radio station. College isn't just about school and grades, sure those are important, but if you let those rule your life you will miss out on so many moments. So go ahead, go out on a Thursday when you have a 7am on Friday. Skip your lecture on Tuesday and go to a concert. Trust me you will carry those memories with you forever. For most of us this is the only time in our lives when we can truly be wild and take risks. Don't focus so much on the future that you miss out of the present.
What do you guys think? What was the most important thing you learned Freshman year?
XOXO,
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